Friday 20th October 2006 : Callan

raoul del las pellotas del torro gives hello

hello my new people of love. i am raoul de las pellotas del torro.

i am the man who now touches the drums of the machete. and i like to touch them very much so with hardness and happy with good feeling.

i take place of hairy man called callan who i speak when he pick fresh mango of the mango tree in the village arricefe in my beloved mother earth of colombia. he is happy and likes mangos and all the other sweetness of the country.

we swap lives and raoul enjoy new hot and sweaty rythmic meeting with all the famillia del machete. you make raoul de las pellotas del torro come warm inside with trembling joy.

gracias for your welcome and i now go buy una botella de buckfast which callan tell raoul is the shamanic water of truth and wisdom.

raoul de las pellotas del torro.

Monday 13th February 2006 : Callan

elvis drives getaway car.

so i was in a taxi the other morning when the taxi driver says to me...'were you at an elvis convention in aviemore a few years ago?'

hermano...that was one of the strangest and most memorable nights of mi vida. a friend of a friend was a massive elvis fan and invited us to this elvis convention in aviemore, hotel room for free...everything....hey what the hell. so we gets there and its packed full of elvis impersonators....i'm talking a 'fear and loathing in las vegas' vibe here...d'ye get me!

it was a fabulous night and the taxi guy remembered absolutely everything that happened...line for line. however...best part was breakfast the next morning.

the 5 of us dived into the car and went to a local cafe for breakie - my friend roberto driving the car in full elvis get up. so we has some scran but the service was bad, food bad...everything bad. so elvis says to me 'hey man...lets shoot this joint...coz i aint paying. y'all stay here, i'll get the car out front and lets make like a shephard and get the flock out of here.'

so elvis leaves the building.

next thing...true to his word elvis pulls up out front in an old 1970s jag, shades on and looking good...sounds the horn and points to the road.....we bolt...like i've never bolted before...faster than you can say 'thankyouverymuch' 4 bodies throw themselves in the getaway car and screech off in a blaze of flashes to the sound of 'viva las vegas'...hearts pounding, deafening laughter and a polaroid click for an instant memory.

the other week a taxi driver gave me the full history of the scottish paper mill industry...fascinating.

cal.

Monday 6th June 2005 : Callan

pants and socks are such an underestimated luxury. as a little pre-italy treat i decided to treat myself to lovely fresh summer underwear and socks with the main aim being to get something vibrant and warm (colour wise). but hijo de putta it wasnt easy.
you are spoilt for choice as long as you like black, grey or blue. i stood there in front of many a sock display and wondered just how many variations on black, grey and blue can you get. i mean, a whole display of probably 100 pairs of socks and not a primary colour in sight....whats that all about.

i know socks and pants are usually left to aunties at christmas time but take charge of your own destiny and realise the importance of accessories. gracias a dios i found what i needed in one shop and the coments and compliments from random members of the public has been very surprising.....though mostly about the vibrant socks and not so much the pants...probably just as well.

so next time you stare at the black, grey, blue display make a stand for primary colours....you can make a difference. cal